Composed // Dealing with Your Threenager

Hi!  Hope you enjoyed my last post about morning routines that have helped our mornings brighter and days starting off on the right foot.  Today, I wanted to share some things that have worked in our home that we share with our little threenager ;)

Since Charlotte has joined our family, Olivia has been less than herself most days.  To be totally honest, I was worried her "old self" wouldn't return, which completely scared me because she was the sweetest little girl.  Up until this past week she has been all out of sorts - disobeying us, being loud to wake up the baby, purposely touching the baby when asked not to, temper tantrums, etc. I was so not prepared for that.  Side note: I'm writing this with complete honesty because nothing makes me feel worse than reading blogs that make me feel less than a good mom because they have perfect days, perfect children, perfect moments all.day.long.  Anyway, after days of being so frustrated and searching for ways to correct this I decided to use some of my classroom management skills and they seem to be working very well. Read: We're not ending our days covered in stickers, in the corner, with all of us crying.  Olivia has been so much more herself and it's been so nice to get back to our old/new routines.

Get Some Fresh Air
Although it takes longer to pack up the car with both kids, extra clothes, diapers, snacks, extra snacks, sunscreen, sun hats, water bottles, the stroller...you get the idea, it is worth it haul everything and everyone to the park to get some fresh air.  Even walking around the neighborhood or playing in the back yard is a great way to distract from bad moods or boredness all around. It also helps them sleep better, which in itself is worth it. 

Positive Reinforcement
I've started using a star chart with Olivia and it has been a great visual reminder that her good behavior is being noticed.  We had a sticker chart for her bedtime routine but that ended up being too much of a distraction of wanting to put extra stickers on, peeling them off, using them for other things...with a star chart, the parent writes the star and that works really well so the child can see they are being praised and it's also not as much of a distraction.

Changing Their Mind
All too often it's super hard to be three.  Whether your baby doll's eyes won't open and close at the right time or you can't eat marshmallows for breakfast, it's super hard to compose yourself when you're feeling that it's the end of the world. I think it helps so much that my sister also has a three (almost) year old and lots of our friends have kids similar ages and we can laugh together at these moments.  To these little loves, these moments are truly a big deal to them and it's important to respect that they have these feelings.  It's super hard for them to express themselves at times so I find that changing their minds really helps.  For example, Olivia has been wanting her baby doll to do everything Charlotte does which is adorable most times, but other times it's just not possible.  If Charlotte is in her mamaroo, then Olivia's baby doll goes in the bouncer right next to her.  Every single day we have the same breakdown because the doll's eyes won't stay open when she's laying down.  Thank you Mattel, maybe next time you can make a doll that works according to toddler's needs!?! After her 145th tantrum about this I taped the doll's eyes open I tried to change her mind and direct her attention to something else and it worked.  If she's cranky or upset because she can't do something or something isn't working right then we change directions and it normally resets her whole mindset.

Less Electronics
We definitely aren't a family who use electronics all day, everyday but we certainly watch shows on tv and occasionally use the computer.  Of course we have our social media accounts and things of that nature but I try to put my phone in another room or away for the day once the kids are awake.  Olivia has used our iPad a few times and enjoys it but she's just as happy playing with toys so that is what we try for.  Most mornings I let her turn on a show to wake up slowly while she drinks her milk and munches on some Cheerios but I've been making a conscious effort to limit it to one show then the tv turns off and the day starts.  Mamas of little ones - Daniel Tiger is one of her favorites and has great teaching lessons for little ones.  Note: when she's up at 5am, the one show rule is out the window #mamaneedssleep.  By cutting down tv and electronic time, I've seen significant behavior improvement.

Intentional Time Together
Since Charlotte was born, Olivia's mommy time is now shared with another little person and that can be hard at times for her.  Actually, for both of us because mommy guilt really is a true thing.  Intentionally spending time together has been a great treat for both of us. Whether it's going for ice cream or just doing a puzzle together and painting our nails, we both really enjoy it and I think it makes her feel special.  It's hard with Rob being away for work so much lately, but even a few minutes here and there make all the difference.  Also, I find when I remain calm during a tantrum or if she's upset or mad, then she tends to get over it quicker and we move on.

Pour Some Wine
All joking aside, seriously some days are meant to end as wine days. Now I don't currently have any in the house but if I did, I'd be enjoying that.  Alone. Watching Real Housewives. 

These are some things that have worked most days and I would love to hear other ideas about what has worked with your little tantrums, I mean toddlers ;)  When I'm calm and composed, they are calm(er) and more composed too! Stay tuned for another Composed post this week & as always follow along with us @thebirdsnestblog.  XO