I love Target and find myself there way too often. My sister and I always say that shopping with a toddler is literally so funny/exhausting because it is so chaotic and it's basically a game of keeping-toddler-happy-with-snacks-drinks-dollar-spot-toys-while-buying-nothing-on-your-list. Do you all feel like that??
This morning, I decided to take Olivia to Target to look at all of the fun Christmas items popping up, while of course doing some grocery and essentials shopping. Normally, Olivia loves shopping and it makes me so happy to share fun shopping days with her. I thought it might be fun to see if any of you have the same Target experience as me;)...
Step One: Decide to take your toddler to Target before naptime {insert monkey covering eyes emoji here}. Prep her with a big breakfast and get her excited to go with you!
Step Two: Prep your diaper bag with all of the essentials to make your shopping trip go smoothly...Cheerios, goldfish, raisins, snack trap with
different goldfish, granola bar, water, mini book, light up toy,
wine...
Step Three: Put excited {now overtired} toddler in the car where she proceeds to stiffen her body into a straight line so you can now not put her in the car. We've forgotten Penelope {beloved stuffed bunny}. Get Penelope. Put toddler into her carseat where she stiffens herself again and flips around, now hanging over passenger seat demanding the bag of pretzels she sees on the floor. Note to self: bring pretzels into the house. Give toddler a pretzel for each hand, buckle and proceed to drive down the street.
Step Four: Forget your Target list. Try to remember what you needed. Peanut butter? Mayo? Lettuce? No, maybe it was paper towels? What food do we even eat? Peanut butter. Don't forget the peanut butter.
Step Five: Sing along with your toddler to Christmas songs while trying to get to Target before a nap happens.
Step Six: Arrive in Target parking lot after approximately 20 minutes of driving and singing. Toddler is asleep.
Step Seven: Sit in the Target parking lot for approximately 37 minutes while your toddler sleeps. Check Instagram, email, Target statement. Note to self: lay off the pointless "that is adorable!" things
Step Eight: "Hi Mommy" is whispered from the back seat. Ah, your toddler is awake and happy. Load her into a cart, complete with cart saver {ew, cart germs}, snack trap, and water. Attach Penelope with toy leash to cart saver. And we're off...
Step Nine: Use cart wipe. Head to dollar spot. Gets me everytime. Ok, we need the pack of jumbo Elmo crayons, one
or eight gold polka dot notebooks, gold chevron ribbon, Sofia the First coloring book, felt Santa bucket and chalkboard gift bag, Realize you've already spent 12 minutes in the dollar spot.
Step Ten: Head towards baby aisle. What did I need? Wipes? Diapers? Ooh, look...new Tommee Tippee cups. Add to cart. Go back for wipes. Spot adorable dress for Christmas card picture. Think to yourself if you have anything to coordinate. "Mommy, Mommy, Mommy," as toddler is pointing to food pouches. Grab one from your diaper bag and hope Target employees realize you did indeed bring your own.
Step Eleven: Toddler squirts organic sweet potato and apple pouch down the front of her jacket. Take out wipes, wipe her down, take away pouch as toddler screams because you took pouch away. Give pouch back, "Mommy do."
Step Twelve: Why am I here?? What did I need?
Step Thirteen: Cruise past toy aisles, trying to find the 50% off toy from Cartwheel today. Explain to toddler that we can't have that right now.
Step Fourteen: Head to Christmas aisle. Take a picture of your child in front of Christmas display. Have a stranger come up and offer to take a picture of you and your child. Sure, why not? I'm only standing in the middle of Target with people looking at me, because why would I take a picture in front of a fake tree at Target? Thank stranger and head to Christmas music aisle.
Step Fifteen: Play Christmas music sample CD while toddler dances in cart and give her an adorable ornament to play with.
Step Sixteen: Head to the food, that you're actually here to buy. No, we can't eat those crackers now. Break out the
different goldfish and mix with Cheerios, just incase.
Step Seventeen: Zip through food aisles because toddler is getting tired and hungry and ready to get out of cart. Sit down please. Sure, you can hold the can of beans.
Step Eighteen: Make your way to the frozen fruit section. Maneuver your cart so your toddler doesn't see you putting it into the cart. Toddler sees the fruit. Quickly try to distract, finding the toys in your diaper bag. Nope. Calm toddler who is now crying. Explain that you can't open the frozen fruit right now. Yup, because she totally understands that.
Step Nineteen: You're now running down the aisles. "We're almost done." "We're going to go home soon." "You're being such a good girl"
Step Twenty: Head to check out. Give toddler the box of crayons you found in the dollar spot. Put all of your items on the checkout, open your Cartwheel app. Think to yourself, why is the cashier laughing? Look at toddler. Contain yourself when the tip of the orange crayon is missing and see your toddler happily chewing away. Swipe your toddler's mouth and find a teeny tiny piece of orange crayon, the rest is packed into her molars. Smile at the teen cashier and joke that you don't need to feed her lunch now. Teen politely laughs. Mom fail. Scan cartwheel that you actually remembered to use, swipe card, get receipt and book it to the car.
After our shopping trip, my sister and Brynn met up with us to grab some pizza. After Olivia flipped her entire plate of freshly cut pizza, I kind of lost it. A few minutes later, the girls were feeding each other pieces of pizza and I was saying how sweet it was. My sister proceeds to say, "you were hangry, weren't you?' Yes, I was hangry. Hungry and angry. Pizza solves all sometimes, right?!
Overall, a successful trip. I seriously love my little shopper so much. Now, those of you without toddlers may as yourself, why? Why would you do that more than once? I too ask myself that at times. Then by next week, it's let's go to Target, so fun!
Final step: Drive home while toddler happily sings in the back seat. Peanut butter. I forgot the peanut butter...