Life's Moments

It's been ten months since the course of our lives were forever changed.  I'm not sure I will ever publicly share what happened but it has forever changed me as a person and my girls' lives, in every aspect.  

A few weeks ago, I was at a point where I was more than overwhelmed by so many daily roles and honestly I was crumbling as a woman, a mother, a friend.  Those were some of my hardest days and I'll always remember when another single mom reached out on Instagram and said I was encouraging to them because I looked like I was able to get it all done.  I was touched by that message, but that was so far from the truth.  Behind those little squares there was so much more going on.  My girls are my greatest accomplishment and I want them to know how much I love them and how much they mean to me.  Sometimes it's a struggle to get out of the clouds but you'll get there and be so much stronger for it. Today, I want to share a few things for anyone else struggling to make it through their day, feeling like they are not enough, that they're in the thick of it... it does get better and there are brighter days ahead.  Positive thinking changes everything and it's so worth it. 

A few weeks ago I started working again and it was perfect timing.  I hate to say that going back to work gives me a break, because I know how hard working moms work, but for me it has given me a quick breather.  I have always loved being a teacher and always feel right at home in the classroom. At some point in the near future I hope to return full time to work, but for right now it's a perfect schedule for me.  It wasn't until I started working that I realized how underwater I was feeling.  As a mother of very young children, it's so easy to forget to take care of yourself and those overwhelming feelings slowly build up until there's such an immense weight on your shoulders that it hits so hard.  Besides working and tutoring after school, I'm taking a million workshops, CTLE seminars, content tests and taking a course to fulfill my certificate requirements.  I swear I've never been so busy.  Every hour seems to be consumed right now and I'm actually enjoying it.  As cliche as it sounds, some true hustling is going on.  As the sole parent 99% of the time, I am so thankful to my family and friends who are constantly part of my village to help with the girls. If you're in a similar position, I can't tell you how important it is to have good people in your life. 

For a very long time, it was so hard for me to see my worth.  Some days are still a struggle.  After a while your vision of self-worth gets chipped away and you start believing what you're hearing and seeing and that is a hard thing to change.  Probably one of the hardest.  When you think you're not pretty enough, smart enough, thin enough, special enough...whatever you're feeling, just remember that you have little people looking up to you.  With two little girls, I am constantly reinforcing that they are smart, strong, beautiful inside and out and I never share my own inner thoughts because I never want them judging themselves like that.  That is why I'm being so honest here because if you feel the same way, remember that you are worth it. 

Yes.  I just love that.  Looking back at how far I've come over these past months (read: a lot longer) I can finally see that I've handled a thousand things, in a thousand different ways and I am proud of it.    Set those standards high, ladies.  It will be worth it.  Thank you for allowing me to share a bit of my story and I hope you will reach out if you need.  It takes a village.  XOXO